Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Naked came the stranger

It ‘s the night before Easter and all through the house not a creature is stirring--except for the naked intruder who earlier crawled through an open window and is now audibly urinating in the bathroom.

In the little cottage at 42nd and E. Galer it’s four in the morning. A single mother and her two children are awakened by the sound. Realizing that it’s not the Easter Bunny in the bathroom, the mother waits until she hears the man move to another part of the house, rushes the kids into the now-vacated bathroom, locks the door, and calls the police. They arrive to discover a naked male sprawled across the children’s bed, clearly in an advanced state of intoxication.

I am indebted to for noticing the East Precinct police report on this incident. Since this is a family blog, I have restrained myself from reporting the sordid details of this little home invasion, but I encourage those who are interested to check out that hyperlinked source. Suffice it to say that at least one piece of furniture in that little house needed cleaning.

The male, a student in his 20s, was chagrined upon his arrest to find that he was not sleeping it off in the house of a friend--who as it turns out actually lives three blocks to the west. A neighbor, who witnessed the police taking the man into custody, described the perpetrator as a “clean-cut college kid” who probably had a heck of a story to tell his parents when phoning from the jail the next morning.

A codicil to our story. On Easter day the little boy finds an unexpected surprise somewhere on the property and promptly brings it to his mother: a pair of men’s boxer shorts.

[Photo: no, that's not the perpetrator.]

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